Jen Hutchings, Ph.D, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Premarital Counseling?  Check.

Ceremony location?  Check.  Photographer?  Check.  Flowers?  Check.  A plan for your marriage?  Silence.  If you were starting a business, you would have a business plan.  If you were going on a trip, you would plan your itinerary.  You enter your marriage expecting it to be one of the longest commitments of your life.  Most couple, do not prepare for this change.  In fact, most couples underestimate the adjustment that they will encounter long after they have sent their thank-you notes and ordered their wedding albums.

How do you like to be cared for?  How does your partner?  What will you do with your finances?  What are your expectations about household roles?  What are your personality differences?  How will you handle stress and conflict as a couple?  How does your upbringing as well as your current family relationships affect your marriage?  Were you in a prior long-term relationship? If so, what are your triggers?  What will your family look like?  What if it doesn’t go as planned?

Prevention is the key.  You have a 31% chance of decreasing our national divorce statistics (around 50%) and increasing your overall marital satisfaction if you participate in a structured premarital counseling program*.  The program takes a minimal amount of time and is relatively inexpensive compared to the tens of thousands that the average couple spends on their wedding day - $35,000 in fact! (Brides-To-Be)

A lot of engaged couples are nervous about stirring up any issues at this point in their relationship.  But I would rather have you enter your marriage with eyes wide open and prepare for potential issues before they get ten times worse and often lead to other, more serious problems in marriages. 

I can lead you through a structured premarital program that lasts about 6-8 sessions.  I am certified as a PREPARE/ENRICH certified facilitator and use an online customized couple assessment that I am excited about.  So excited that next Sunday I will be hanging out with hundreds of brides and their mothers at a bridal show, telling them the same thing.  I just hope they will take a second to peel their eyes away from the dress and consider preparing for their marriage.

*Stanley, Scott M., Amato, Paul R., Johnson, Christine A., Markman, Howard J. (2006).  Premarital Education, Marital Quality, and Marital Stability: Findings from a large, random household survey. Journal of Family Psychology, 20(1), 117-126.